Poem: Moon of Many Names

Now here is the Moon
of many names.
Full and bright.
Feminine and
Cool...

The Moon,
the Lunar Bull
with its brilliant horns...

Pale Sister,
Grandmother
Moon...
Luna...


She allows us
this brilliant
Light
for the Darkwork
of the night.

The hard work of
revealing
our Shadow,
detaching
from our pain
and our
tired sense of
unworthiness,
Letting it go
into
the Darkness.

Now is the time
to free yourself!

Let go!
Let go!
Let go!

And begin
again.

Follow the lunar cycle,
the monthly Sacrifice
of the Horned Bull,
the ancient Cult
of Feminine
Wisdom
and Mystery.

Detach...
Let-go...
Be free...

--Pahka Dave (2013)

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Grief Is There

"There is no way to stop Grief. Grief is for a lifetime. Even after years and years of intense Grief-work it remains. It softens. But it remains...

Just when you think you have finally faced all of your Grief then comes the Grief of our past lives...

And beyond that our Ancestral Grief... And then beyond that awaits the Grief of all Sentient Beings and the Elementals...

So of course we fear to face our Grief. It feels overwhelming. We want to spare ourselves from feeling our Grief. But that is impossible. All you can do is postpone it. All you can do is suppress it.

Grief is Good. It is there because of Love. Grief is there because Love has been lost.

Love was there and now it is gone. So we Grieve. It is so natural.

And sometimes, even sadder, Grief is there because Love should have been! But never was... Those we Loved somehow could not Love back!

We must Grieve all our Grief--fully, slowly, over time--in order that we may keep on Loving. Otherwise in denying ourselves Grief we close our heart! We drown our true Joy in unshed tears...

Grief and Love are like our Two Hands. We need both to be whole. They are like Two Wings... Both must be there in order that we may fly. Both are necessary so we may develop Compassion.

The Deeper our Loss. The Deeper our Compassion.

Grief is there... Use it wisely and forge it into something beautiful! It is your Treasure, moreso than Love.

Love and Grief... We cannot have one without the other. They go hand in hand! There is no end to Grief... It is Love turned outside-in.

Telling someone to 'get over it' and 'move-on' is the ultimate insensitivity--because it cannot be done! Love was there. Now it is gone. And so... There is Grief. We cannot 'get over' that! Nor should we try. Hao la!"

--Pahka Dave

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Poem: My Wish For You

My wish for you
is that
you make
a huge
mistake.

A mistake
so big
that
after that
you will never
be the same
again.

A mistake
that will
reveal
all your
Lies
and hypocrisy,
your strategies
for control
and
avoidance
so
there is
no way
in Hell
that you
can ever
go back
to being
Un-True.

I want you
to get caught
being
devious
and mean,
uncaring
and abusive.

I want you
to stand
your ground,
feel
the Shame,
be accountable,
take responsibility
for the
machinations
of your Ego.

I want you
to get busted
as an Ego
so that
forever
after
you will only dare
to live
from your
Heart,
from your
Honest Truth.

Revealed,
Repentant,
Transparent.
Unashamed!

Then you will see...
You are
still loved,
you are still
safe,
you are still
worthy,
and you can
live a life
that requires
no more lies.

I want you to
authentically
be who you
have been
pretending
to be.

Human
and humane...

A good
and Righteous
person.

Unafraid.
Innocent
once again,
with no more
Secrets
to hide!

Then
I want you
to come for dinner
and stay too late
talking with me
about GOD,
and the
Truth,
and what needs
to change
inside each of us
so all of our
unnecessary
suffering
can finally
come to an
end...

--Pahka Dave (2013)

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Poem: A Bad Dream

If you think
You are alone
In your
Addiction
You are
mistaken...

Others suffer
With you
and
Because
of
Your pain...

When you
Are lost
To
Yourself,
Clouded
and
Trapped
By Pain,
Those
who
Love you
Can't
reach
You...

It is so
Sad
Seeing you
Suffer so...

Watching you
Feel ashamed
Of yourself.

There is
No
Shame in
Becoming
Addicted.

In this
World,
Everyone
You see
Is addicted!

You are
Not
Alone!

Your addiction
Began
Innocently!

You were
Seeking
A way
Out of
Pain.

You did
Not
Know
How seeking
To escape
Would trap you
And how
The habit of
Escaping
Would come
to control
You...

You can
Be innocent
Again.
But
First you
Must
Withdraw.
And see
What a
Paper
Phantom
Shame is!

How shame
Is the trap!

Do not be
Afraid!

You are
Strong!

You can
Beat
This Demon
and
Free
Yourself!

You can
Withdraw!

You have
The
Strength
To do this
and see
this through!

You are loved!

No matter
How many
Times
You fall...

Stand
Again!

You have
Never
Been alone.

You have
Never
Been unloved!

That is all
Just
A bad
Bad
Dream!


--Pahka Dave (2013)

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The Slippery Fish

"The Ego is a 'slippery fish'. That is what they say in Zen.

There is another wonderful saying: 'The Fish in the Trap begin to Think.' We are actually many Fish. And there are many many Traps. Even then, the Ego remains a 'slippery fish'. It finds a way to wriggle out of each Trap...

But lets assume there finally comes a day when no matter what we try, how we wriggle; all the slippery thinking cannot help us escape the Trap... Well: That is an Enlightenment moment.

We see! We see clearly how we have allowed our Ego to over-rule our Heart, harden us, trick us, play us like a sap, to maintain it's supremacy! Our Heart has been Overruled.

What the Heart wanted went against our Ego's Prime Directive; never get caught, never get trapped, always slip out, always wriggle free; maintain the Illusion, pay no attention to that Man behind the Curtain!

The Heart wants Vulnerability and Emotion, Love and Passion, the freedom to make Foolish choices, to learn like a child by trial and error, and the Wisdom to make Glorious Mistakes!

When the Heart Overrules the Ego... That fish is cooked! But we are many fish. That is why Enlightenment is only a Moment. A new more clever Ego takes over. Rationalizes and reasons it way back into Primacy and again, the Heart is overruled...

But there will come a day, or a night, or a dawn, when the last fish gets cooked. Then our Heart is finally free. Finally free to cease beating. Until then we must swim...

My favorite Fish saying: 'Only dead fish go with the flow.' Until our last slippery fish is cooked, we must learn to swim to the Sea! Hao la!

--Pahka Dave

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Uncomfortable Emotions

Uncomfortable Emotions

Here is my advice when you are feeling uncomfortable feelings... Feel uncomfortable! Don't try to manage those feelings, supress them, control them, eliminate them, side-step them, medicate them, get drunk, stoned or otherwise avoid how you truly feel. That only prolongs and strengthens uncomfortable feelings.. That only turns them into Honey Badgers that will bite you on the ass! Cause Honey Badger don't care! Honey Badger don't give a shit! THAT is how you feel right NOW! Feel it!

Feelings are Wisdom. They have something to say, they have valuable pieces of information created especially by you FOR you. Ignore them at your peril...

Instead of suppressing and controlling uncomfortable emotions...feel them; raw and mighty and scary and overwhelming. They are YOUR feelings!... They are not trying to hurt you. They are trying to Help You! Once their message is delivered you, once you truly hear it and really get the message... they will slip away. I promise!

But... If you ignore them, or suppress them, they will be back first thing in the morning. Sure, that is not so bad then, in the new light, at the start of the day; you have a lot to do, you can stay busy. But when the afternoon comes, and the day slows down, and the distractions subside... Oh, say around 4 or 5 or 6 o'clock, they will be back, clamoring for your attention. If you ignore them they will haunt your sleep!

It is no accident that we call that time of day 'Happy Hour' or 'Cocktail Hour' or perhaps 'Tea Time'... Even the stoners are supposed to spark up at '4:20'... It is Time to Manage, Negate, Distract, Avoid, and Ignore our authentic emotions once again!

There really was never a Counter Culture. One side 'hip', the other side 'square', one side more High and Spiritual than the other... Well, maybe one side more High... But, the behavior is exactly is the same! Escape! Medicate! Get loaded! Get a buzz on! Don't feel how you feel.... See Doctor Feelgood! Relax... Don't give a shit!

The only thing 'Counter' or different about those cultures was their drug of choice and their hairstyles. But like Bob Dylan said: 'Everybody Must Get Stoned!' And HE should know...

Next thing YOU know, you are a Stoned Buddha and you have successfully ignored 30, 40, 50, 60 years of your true innate Wisdom! And then watch out! Honey Badger has just been waiting. Biding its time. And once it sees an opportunity of weakness...Honey Badger is going to jump up and bite you on the ass! Hao la! Even Baba Ram Das eventually stroked out! Ask him if he still thinks drugs are cool now?"

--Pahka

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The Eye of Perfection

"Human Beings are gifted with the Eye of Perfection so we can marvel at God's perfection in creating this Wonderful World and so we can gaze in Astonishment at the countless Stars and Galaxies in the night sky....

But too often, when we turn the Eye of Perfection onto ourselves, we see only our flaws. We fail to see the Beauty of our imperfections and our asymmetries... Instead, we find fault.

In so doing, we belittle ourselves and we fail to see with the Heart-felt Eye of Compassion. We do not see ourselves with Love.

Somehow we fail to see ourselves as God sees us: Perfect in our Human Imperfections; delighting in every freckle and wrinkle, in each and every scar."

--Pahka Dave

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Set Yourself Free

Set yourself free...

"Becoming more sensitive to the subtle vibrations surrounding us begins to make us more sensitive to the subtle vibrations within us.

That sounds all well and good... But the subtle vibrations within us are fears, unwelcome emotions, buried traumas, unsolicited memories, and our Soul's longing to be free.

Who stands in the way of our inner freedom? Ego...

Qigong Meditation is the slow steady inevitable erosion of Ego. Qigong is it's gentle undoing.

Everything false and deceitful about us must go in order for our Soul and our Heart to come forward into the Light. The Ego IS the Shadow we have been hiding in.

Only the Ego lies. Only the Ego chooses falseness and deceit. Only the Ego struggles to hold us back in order to maintain it's dominion over us. Only the Ego wishes to quit all this Healing! Get back to our comfort zone!

The Truth is: Your Body LOVES exercise! It is only your Mind that procrastinates and makes up excuses; only your Mind rationalizes and postpones...

But: Persist in your Qigong Practice and it is only a matter of time. All that is false within you will be revealed. Your Ego will be outed!

You will see it was never truly your friend! It was protecting itself at YOUR expense. It was sacrificing YOUR health and happiness for a false sense of security and control...

Qigong erodes the Ego. Trust me. If you are persisting in your Qigong Practice that is your Soul trying to get free. Climbing into the barrel and heading for the falls...

In the beginning, the Ego is entranced with the idea of miraculous spontaneous healing, gaining power, achieving self-mastery, becoming stronger, calmer, and more centered; seeing other people's Auras--becoming clairvoyant and learning to control invisible subtle energies.

That is when the trap is set. If we then persist--over the course of years--our Inner Subtle Energies set to work. They set to slowly working themselves OUT! Slowly, slowly, they circumvent our Ego-defense systems and are released...

That is how we become ourselves... Sabotaging our Ego! Setting ourselves up to be revealed. Being honest! Being true. No more secrets!

And when we finally cry ourselves out and set ourselves free... We are no longer our Ego's Bitch! We are no longer afraid of the Truth. We no longer hide in the Dark. Hao la!"

--Pahka Dave

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The Wheel of Karma

"It is called the Wheel of Karma because if you live long enough you start to see the patterns. You see how we each recreate our own traumas so we can relive them and heal them.

And our children recreate our traumas too so they can relive them and so we can relive our traumas through them.

And we recreate our parents and grandparents traumas so we can relive them and heal them. We heal our traumas. Not only for us. But for all of us. That is the Pattern.

They call it Karma. But then they talk about it terms of cause and effect. They talk about Cosmic Comeuppance... Balancing the scales... Paying for our sins... But this forgets and overlooks the Wheel.

The patterns repeat themselves. Not as a punishment. Not because we deserve our generational traumas and our deepest wounds. Not because of some Cosmic judgement. It is NOT a generational curse! It is our blessing. It makes us One...

They repeat because we are all humans. And there is only one story. And WE are all part of it.

We can't escape the Wheel no matter what so many religious types may say. The Wheel is not something we can escape. The Wheel is us! We are all Bodhisattvas... We ARE the Patterns. And the Patterns repeat and repeat and repeat..."

--Pahka Dave

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Sadness

"Sadness Never Goes Away. Where can it go??? It is part of us. It is always there making sure we enjoy our lives while we can! Our time here is so short. No time to waste.

So don't waste time waiting for Sadness to go away. It won't! Balance it instead with laughter and Joy.

Your sadness has been there this whole time waiting for your hug! Waiting for you to welcome it home..."

--Pahka Dave

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Qigong Visualization

"In qigong visualization it is best to imagine reality rather than esoteric and fantastic images...

Imagine your feet stand on the earth... Imagine your head touches the sky above... Imagine your energy reaches out to the farthest extent of space... And imagine your inner space is as expansive as your outer space... Use these images to enhance your practice. Go out and release... Come in and absorb...

Expand to release stagnant Qi. Contract to absorb Yuan Qi.

Open and close. Open and close. Like the opening and closing of your lungs, like the opening and closing of your beating heart."

--Pahka Dave

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Age of Aquarius

"What the Hippies never imagined in the 60s and 70s was that the Age of Aquarius would actually be an age of sobriety... It was unfathomable for them. But think about it...

How else can we become our authentic selves if we don't feel our authentic feelings? How can we make Peace if we do not make peace within ourselves? We must accept our true feelings...

Not the Neurotic Bullshit feelings that have been holding us back. Not the feelings thrust on us by the generations before us who tried to drink and dope and deny their shame away so they could feel 'shameless'. When instead, they shamed us all!

We carry their shame. It is a Legacy of Shame and Imperial Despotism... The Shame of two World Wars, Nuclear War, the Cold War, Korea, Vietnam, the Reagan Central American Wars, the Clinton Slovak Wars, Bush War I & II, and now the Drone Wars... Wars on Drugs and Wars on Terror and Wars against the Poor... Wars for Water and Oil. We are fed up! War is becoming obsolete. And so too is the War against ourselves.

We must make Peace within ourselves. Heal the Spilt. And the only way to do that is by Full Catastrophe Living! Unadulterated! Unbuffered! Crazy Sober!

We have the opportunity to Feel It All. But not if we are drugged and medicated, distracted and preoccupied with fear and shame. 'AA is for Quitters!'

If we throw out our Neurosis we throw out our Wisdom too. We must learn to blend these energies. Not suppress and deny them. We must listen to them. And then we detach from what is NOT Truly Ours!

If we deny our true experience and our authentic feelings then how can we evolve? For billions of us the worst possible future is a future where we are condemned to Sobriety.

We scoff at Islamic Countries for Banning Alcohol. That is the hold up! Entire nations are afraid of the God's-Honest-Truth about how we really truly feel! Afraid to accept our Shame.

We are Pirates! Expansionists... Imperialists... Faceless Corporations... Our lawmakers and warmongers are all intoxicated. If not literally on drugs and alcohol then literally--and more sinister--on money and power and dominance!

How does that lead to wise governance? How does that usher in the Age of Aquarius? An Age of Peace and Brotherhood among men!

Instead we have this Orwellian Dystopia. Big Brother IS watching. The Thought Police ARE listening. SO: Drink your Victory Gin and remain asleep!""

--Pahka Dave

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Into The Universe

"Expand outward into the Universe. Feel yourself surrounded by countless Stars, countless Galaxies, and the limitless Spaces between them...

Realize that the building blocks of life are created in the supernovas of stars... We are stardust. Here in the nursery of infinite stars and planets and nebulae is our own true birthplace.

Open your Meridians and absorb energy. Feel the stars all around you at all times. Breathe in deeply and replenish your Primordial Qi."

--Pahka Dave

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Today

"Today is a good day to let it out! Let out your deepest resentments and frustrations. Out the whole embarrassing truth to someone.

Acknowledge you don't always want to be nice, share, and play fair. Sometimes you need privacy and peace and to be left alone!

That kind of honesty IS standing in your Truth!

It may not change your immediate situation, BUT it will liberate your heart and lower your blood pressure!!

Holding back all those ego-feelings and unflattering fears is painful... It only makes things worse! Let them out! Accept them! Be honest! It is perfectly human to feel this way from time to time!

Unburden your heart! You are still loved, you are still safe, you are still cherished! You are still beautiful!

Hao la!"

--Pahka Dave

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The Simplest Qigong Exercise

"The simplest Qigong practice I know of is forming a Qi-Ball.

The palms should be rounded and relaxed as if holding a large grapefruit. The fingers should be aligned fingertip to fingertip.

Bring the palms close together and then slowly open to about a distance of 12 inches... Open, close... Open, close... As if playing a small Concertina. Open, and close... Open, and close...

Because of the different polarities in your palms, after a few minutes, you should be able to detect the growing presence of Qi-Energy between your palms. You are forming a Qi-Ball.

Not sure? Stand before a mirror while wearing a black shirt. Watch the space between your hands in the mirror. A subtle sky-blue light will be present... The fingers will create streamers of energy--lines of silver-blue--connecting the fingertips; like playing Cat's Cradle with Qi instead of string.

This exercise has been called La Qi. It is a sensitivity training exercise that I teach beginners so they can detect the presence of Qi right away.

What I have noticed after years of teaching is that some students feel the Qi right away, while others seem better at seeing the energy.

Open and close. Open and close. Breathe in while opening and breathe out while closing. Move your palms at the speed of your breath.

Once you have crated a strong sensation of Qi, once you KNOW you have created a Qi-ball, press the energy ball into your body. Ideally, press the Qi-ball into any area where you are experiencing pain.

If nothing hurts, then perhaps press the energy into your heart or into your navel or your third eye... Your hands will likely feel extra warm, especially in the very centers of your palms.

A very simple but profound Qi exercise..."

--Pahka Dave

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Breath is the Bridge

"Your breath is the bridge between your mind and your body. If you observe you will see that young children breathe from their bellies. If you observe adults you will see that most adults breathe from the upper half of their chest. Why? Adults are suppressing their emotions; young children are not.

The breath is the bridge between the mind and the body. But the belly breath is the bridge between the conscious and the subconscious minds... When we breathe fully, filling up from the diaphragm we have access to our entire intelligence, all our gut feelings and intuitions... The 6th Sense is in the belly!

The Belly Breath also connects our Physical body to our Astral body. It allows us to have access not only to more intelligence but to far richer sources of power; the diaphragmatic breath massages our internal organs and circulates our inner-energies...

When we consciously breathe from the belly, allowing the diaphragm to move up and down as it was designed to do we energize our entire system, we gain access to subtle energies and subtle awarenesses. We have access to ALL our emotions...

Simply breathing fully and authentically connects us to our Self. It undoes the control mechanisms and suppressive interests of Ego. It allows us full connection with our True Self. The leather belt is a tourniquet! It restricts the proper movement of breath. It suppresses emotion. Take it off!

Some people have called this Belly Breathing exercise: Meditation. But really it is only one of the 13 Breaths of Qigong... It is the first breath we teach. When you take conscious control of your breath you have taken conscious control of your subtle energies. Hao la!"

--Pahka Dave

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Wake Up Call

"One thing you can say about a Heart Attack... It IS a wake up call. You realize Life is Short! There is no time for worrying about what other people think about you, if you are being too revealing, too transparent, offering too much information...being too honest.

You begin speaking from your Heart. You begin worrying you may not have enough time left to teach everything you have learned. It motivates you...

If my transparency is too uncomfortable, that's ok. I understand. But I cannot stop myself.

I believe the thing that really causes Heart Attacks is keeping ego-secrets. And since I don't want to ever experience another one, I just keep sharing. I keep revealing my true Human Experience. Not trying to sell anything. Just wanting to be authentic. Call that my Health Insurance plan! Hao la!."

--Pahka Dave

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Hazards for Western Students

"One of the hazards of being a Western Qigong student is believing you are practicing in the correct form. Many of us Western students rarely get to see our Qigong Master. We may practice months and months without form correction.

Advanced students get a feeling for the movements, and think they are doing it correctly, and yet their movements and their posture within the form can be so wrong...

Often advanced student of 3 or 4 or 5 or even 8 or 10 years still cannot physically perform the form correctly. Their posture does not permit it. Their shoulders are still too tight. Their low back still too flat. Their center of gravity is still too high.

They practice but maybe not daily. So their posture still shows bad habits of usage and it takes years to create correct posture and proprioception...their hips are too tight, their head is still forward; they cannot yet maintian their root or their central line. They are 'pushovers.' No Qi. No Aura... When the Teacher sees Auras then you cannot cheat. Your form could look beautiful but still you may have no Qi!

I was lucky to see Master Chan twice a year for the first 10 years, usually each time for a 6 day intensive retreat. So I got a lot of instruction in short amounts of time. Then much practicing at home alone... So form correction occurred every 6 months or so...

I remember him saying to the group more than once: 'If I do not come over and correct your form that does not mean you are doing it correctly. Believe me! Some of you are still so far wrong that I do not even know where to begin making corrections. Some of you are at least getting pretty close so I make an effort. So don't think you are correct! Just keep trying to move something. Maintain your anchor. Drop your shoulders. Relax your low back. Do not squeeze your butt! Relax! The form will teach you...'

SO in my classes I always repeat and repeat and repeat the fundamentals of correct posture: 'Eyes on the horizon...' 'Your head as if suspended from above...' 'Do not tuck your chin...' 'Drop your shoulders...' 'Do not squeeze...' 'Ears should be directly over your shoulders...' 'Relax the knees...' 'Relax the low back...' 'Tailbone points towards the ground...' Again and again and again and again...

Sometimes advanced students get frustrated and impatient, thinking they are ready to learn more about the form, or progress quickly to the next level. But I always teach my beginning students and my more advanced students together. If advanced students are not willing to review the fundamentals then I do not really want to teach them.

The teacher will tell you when you are ready. They will be waiting and waiting for that day! Believe me! Then you will make THEM look good! Every teacher wants their students to surpass them!

Master Chan says even after 45 years his Lao-shi still corrects his form! If Master Chan still needs form correction than who am I??? Qigong keeps you humble! Hao la!"

--Pahka Dave

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Longing

"The Heart longs for what it longs for. That longing is a deep deep ache...a deep well. You can't help that. You simply have to recognize that some losses remain. And that is good. It does not mean you are unhealed! Your Heart actually wants to feel that hurt. Love was there, so the longing remains. Think how cold you would feel if those tears suddenly stopped falling and then could never fall again... What a loss that would be."

--Pahka Dave

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