"Sometimes it seems our prayers go unanswered, when in fact the answer was there all along; loud and clear... NO!
What we prayed for ourselves was too limiting, too fearful. What we really wanted was to remain unchanged and avoid the pain of transformation...
But Life had other plans for us. We forget sometimes that we do not belong to ourselves. We belong to Life. And Life wants more for us than we ever dared dream of!"
--Pahka Dave
"Buddha never said 'All Life is Suffering.'
Shakyamuni taught in Pali. The word he used was Dukkha--anxiety, dissatisfaction, discontentment...
And he never said the cause of Dukkha is Desire. He said the cause of Dukkha is Craving... Tanha: Craving or Clinging to the Pleasurable; Clinging to what has passed, to the senses, to past pleasures, to sex, to addictions, to feeling states, to Ego, to Illusions...
Anyone who has ever struggled with addiction understands this! It is not the absence of the substances or objects of our addiction--whether that be a drug, drink, sugar, running, a thought, a person, a belief, an activity, or an Illusion of Self and the 'Good Life'--it is Craving; Craving to return to something in the Past, to always avoid how we feel NOW! To escape Unpleasantmess.
Buddha was no Brahmin, no Saddhu, he was a Warrior Prince destined to be King of the Shakya Tribe. He surrendered all that and conquered his own addictions and then for 40 years taught this one Noble Truth: It is possible to be free!
He taught as a Warrior! Withdraw! Conquer your cravings! You are worth that Battle and that Battle can be won!"
--Pahka Dave
Today I worked with a woman whose 41 year old niece committed suicide two weeks ago... During our session she had the powerful sensation that her niece was visiting her, but as an 8 year old little girl.
She thought at first that her niece was coming to her for comfort... Then she felt little arms embrace her and her little cheek pressed against her, and she realized her niece was there to comfort her...
It was a powerful healing! One I will remember for a long long time. These moments are Sacred! It is such privilege to witness moments of healing like this!
Her niece's name? Shanti...
--Pahka Dave
Lift Qi Up and Pour Qi Down...
Lift up Earth Qi from deep in the ground and slowly raise it above your head... Grab Heaven Qi from above to form a large Qi-ball. Hold the ball directly above Bai Hui (Crown Chakra) and pause for one cycle of breath... Relax the entire body...
Now slowly lower hands in front of face with Qi-Fingers reaching inside, pass the heart and lungs and towards the navel, delivering Qi to the internal organs...
Then slowly sweeping all stagnant Qi out through the meridians of the legs and down and out through the feet and into the Earth...
Think: 'Something Clean comes in...'
Think: 'All things dirty going out...'
Repeat this process 10 to 30 times.
This exercise is also called: 'Pouring Buckets'. Before there was a Shower, you had to pour a bucket of water over your head to wash your Hair and Body. So simple. Profoundly relaxing. Lift Qi Up and Pour Qi Down...
Hao la!
--Pahka Dave
Since we can't truly see ourselves we need the opinion of others to inform us about who we are and to tell us how we are perceived. We need mirrors...
'Opinion' is an interesting word... In one sense it means: 'judgement-opine'; it means our 'point-of-view'. But if you remove the 'O' it means 'pinion', which can be defined as 'a gear' or as 'a bird's wing' or a 'feather'... Our opinion of ourself is geared or perhaps 'fletched' by the opinion of others.
As a verb, 'Pinion' can mean: 'to bind' or 'to shackle' and to cut the flight feathers of a bird to prevent flight...
Who are these others? Who are they to us that we value their opinion--their judgement or perception--and take it to heart? Do they love us? Do they respect us? Do they have our best interest at heart or in mind? Or are they trying to clip our wings? Where does their point-of-view come from?
For me I much prefer to receive the opinion of someone who has the 'Bird's eye-view'; someone who is aloft, someone in flight, someone who can see the big picture from above. That is most helpful to me in helping me to see and understand myself. That kind of opinion is often validating, or at least offers clearer guidance and valid correction when I can't really see myself or what I am doing...
However, sometimes I slip into the darkness and despair, into the 'Worm's eye-view'...or worse I listen to someone who only ever sees the Negative; the cynical, the depressed, the sarcastic, the hopeless, the ironic and the mean-spirited...when I take their judgments to heart I often end up slipping even deeper into doubt, demeaning myself, and taking away a very dark and negative opinion of who I am or how I am doing.
We need others to tell us who we are, to inform us about ourselves so we can form our own opinions. We also need to be careful who we listen to: Do we want guidance from the Bird's eye-view or the Worm's eye-view?
How we choose to see ourselves is totally up to us... Are they being 'brutally honest' or just plain brutal with their opinion? A friend of mine says: "Opinions are like assholes: Everyone has one..."
Be selective. Choose wisely. Don't take everyone's opinion to heart. Some opinions are better left in the dirt!
--Pahka Dave
Centers of Emotion...
Qigong teaches there are Two Minds and Three Centers: Wisdom Mind, Emotional Mind and then Three major areas where Qi is stored: Upper, Middle, Lower Dan Tian.
The Lower Dan Tian is considered MOST important for our physical Health and WellBeing. So emphasis is placed on Sinking Qi into the Lower Dan Tian.
Qi can become Dan (The Elixir of Life) in these areas. Emotions must be mastered effectively to accomplish this with skill.
The Nature of most of our human emotions is usually to rise up. Some call this Kundalini. Like a Cobra rising on it's tail and flaring it's hood. This is an ancient belief.
Ancient Kundalini practitioners were not householders or family men. They had few responsibilities if any. If they became mad--that was not really a problem. The yogis were not too concerned about the aftermath of this experience. But the Chinese Sages discovered what rises up must also fall. AND OFTEN WITH VERY HARSH CONSEQUENCES.
So Taoists developed the Micro-Cosmic Orbit Method of Circulating the Energy internally through Meditation... Balancing the Conception and Governor Meridians--Ren Mai and Du Mai... Their tongues pressed firmly against their upper palates...
Too much Qi in the Head and also too much Qi in the Heart are both considered Illnesses... Qi Derangements...
This rising of emotional energy raises our Shen--our Spiritual Energy--and like a Cobra, Shen will always fall back to the earth.
Emotions can make our Qi run Hot or Cold. They can trap and stagnate Qi in certain centers because of stress, over-thinking, or too much emotional disturbance... Poor health and burn-out may result...
SO... The Heart Must Be Tempered. Over-ruled by the Wisdom Mind. This is an old belief.
The Wisdom Center is considered the Third Eye--between the eyebrows. Sometimes spelled the 'Yintang' or 'Yin Tang' Point. (Our 6th Chakra in yoga science.)
"Use your Yi (Wisdom) to guide your Qi (Energy)" is the old Qigong Saying.
Some emotions can flood the upper centers and deplete our energy in other ways. Then we are spending our Qi too quickly, not cultivating or conserving our Qi.
We suffer from: 'Too Much Qi In The Head' ...STRESS.
'Too Much Xin Qi--(Emotional Heart Qi)' ...PASSION.
Our Organs suffer. We block proper circulation. We lose our calm; our clear center and our energetic grounded-ness...our connection to the Earth. We lose contact with reality and we can become consumed by emotions. It exhausts us.
When our Qi rises with too much force we can lose vital power if we do not replenish it...
We must learn to Calm the Storm--Walk on Water as Christians say... Otherwise: We can unconsciously squander our vital energy and we can deplete ourselves quickly or else slowly slowly over time... We may become Ill and Die too young... We can lose our proper perspective, become overwhelmed, act rashly and unwisely...
Some of this knowledge comes from Confucian Qigong where the point is Being Centered at all times and immune to upsetting emotions... Self-Mastery: Maintaining Center and Ground...
Emotions can disturb our well being. Even too much Happiness is considered unhealthy! (Something we in the West have a hard time accepting! 'Let the Good Times Roll!')
Some of it comes from Taoist Qigong where the effort is on Longevity of Life.
And other thoughts for meditation practice and self-mastery come from Buddhist and Medical Qigong where the goal is Enlightenment and Personal and Relational Health--Our Physical / Spiritual / Emotional / Psychological / Karmic--Health...
Unfortunately Calm and Centered is seen by many people as boring. Or else cold and detached. Especially among the young.
We like our highs and hate our lows. Drug and alcohol abuse are rampant at these ages. When we think we will live for ever then being bi-polar--celebrating our highs and eschewing our lows--seems to the more immature to be what Life is actually all about.
But live long enough, mature some, and you begin to see the wisdom of mastering our emotions.
It turns out a Saint or a Sage or a Master is really just a matured person. That is why I have personally come to enjoy the old Spiritual: O When Those Saints Go Marching In--in a whole new way. 'Lord how I want to be in that number...' An authentic Grown Up! Hao la!
When I was 28 and learning meditation to manage my volatile emotions because of an ugly divorce, my first meditation teacher gave me a copy of the Tao te Ching. I read it and was instantly inspired. It seemed to point to a way out of suffering.
'Don!' I said... 'I want to be a Sage.'
Don smiled sympathetically and said: 'Oh my dear Lamb... That is what the rest of your Life is for! Even if you become a Sage now, at 28, you will have to become a new Sage at 38, and 48, and 58, and 68, and 78... 88? 98? 108? We never really arrive David. So Life is really about the Journey. Not the Destination. The Questions. Not the Answers. It's about the moments and the experiences of aliveness and Love.'
Hao la!
--Pahka Dave
When Death sits in the room,
It becomes very very quiet.
And the room fills
With
A warmth...
And a soft light...
There is a deep feeling
of loss,
of partings,
and a longing to follow...
There is a sad relief
that their suffering
is at last ended
and their pain
is no more.
And then
our own suffering
begins in a new way...
In the Silence
they have left behind.
In that Silence
there is also a loudness...
The loudness
of a heart
Unbeaten,
of a breath
Untaken,
of a last farewell
Unspoken...
In that sacred space
you will hear
the sound of tears,
and the silent anguish
of Lovers
Parted...
When Death sits in the room,
It becomes very very quiet.
And the room fills
with
a warmth
and a soft light...
And amidst the tears
there is
a grim smile of gratitude,
and the feeling
of a warm embrace.
--Pahka Dave (2003)
You still have Dreams
Undreamed...
Dream them.
You still have Hopes
Unmet...
Meet them.
You still have Promises
Unkept...
Keep them.
Your still have Love
Unrequited...
Never quit!
You still have Questions
Unanswered...
Answer them.
You still have Battles
Unwon...
Fight them!
You still have Songs
Unsung..
Sing them.
You still have Tears
Unshed...
Shed them.
You still have Games
Unplayed...
Play them.
You still have Hopes
Unfulfilled...
Fill them.
You still have Wounds
Unhealed...
Heal them.
You still have Deeds
Undone...
Do them.
You still have Wrongs
Unforgiven...
Forgive them.
You still have Children
Who are lost...
Find them!
Leave nothing undone...
No hope unhoped...
No heartache un-mended...
No prayer unanswered...
Then when it is your time to go
You can go easy,
Without regret.
And with no Unfinished business.
You still have Life Unlived.
Live it!
Live it Large!
--Pahka Dave
Breath of Life...
"The word: 'In-spir-at-ion' means to Breathe in the Spirit--the Breath of Life. In the Hawaiian Language this word is Alo-ha. Alo means: 'First' and Ha means: 'The Breath of Life.' Aloha means: 'First Breathe the Breath of Life'...
Ha is very close to the Egyptian word: Ka which means: 'Vital Spark'. The Japanese call this Ki which means: 'Divine Energy.' In Sanskrit the word is Pran which means: 'Spirit Energy'.
Ha... Ka... Ki... Pran... All have to do with Divine Breath; Spirit!--all share a basic concept that all of Life is commingled and dependent upon a Divine Source... Breath! Breath of Life...
Notice the singularity of these syllables compared to a word like Inspiration... Why 4 syllables to express such a simple concept?
For the Chinese this simple fundamental word meaning 'Breath of Life' is Qi. Qi... Ha... Ka... Ki... Pran...
Qi is not pronounced 'Chi.' That is a mistake English speakers make because of the early British attempts to romanize Chinese words using the Wade-Giles System. In that system Chi should always appear as C'hi. The C is hard as in Cat. And the 'hi is a very brief EE sound. But when English speakers see 'C' and 'H' together we pronounce Chi. As in Church. The-- ' --gets dropped...
Qi is pronounced Ki just as in Japanese. It is pronounced: 'Ki Gung.' If you want to be technical. It is spoken very quickly. In the newer Pin-yin System, the Chinese have attempted to create phonetic spellings for Westerners.
There never was a Peking! The Chinese have always said 'Beijing.' But because of the British influence you can still buy Peking Duck in Beijing.
In Pin-yin, the Q is hard like the C in Cat or the K in King... But now, when Westerners see a 'Q' they immediately add a 'U' and say 'Kwee Gong', making the Q a 'Qu' sound as in Queen... (Or worse, like 'Qui-Gon' the Liam Neeson Character in the nefarious Star Wars expansion.)
Now, even though 'Ki Gung' is correct--'Qigong'-- Master Chan says: 'Just say Chi Gong' otherwise no one will know what you are talking about.'
Even the Chinese mispronounce it for our Western ears... Out of kindness.
But still the question remains. Qi... Ki... Ka... Ha... Pran... Inspiration...? Such a simple concept expressed in 4 syllables...?
The more syllables that appear in a word, the more recent its development in a language. The fewer the syllables the more primitive or primal the concept is to a culture. (i.e., God, Food, Wine, Beer, Love, Sex, Bread, Bed, Shoe, Home, Hearth, Health, Hate, War, Skin, Bone, Cat, Dog, Horse, Stick, Sick, Fire, Rock, Breath...)
Eastern and Polynesian cultures revere the very Air we breathe as a Life Force. The Vital Spark. Divine. But Westerners do not! Air... Breath... Taken for granted. Overlooked. Air... Breath... These are our oldest words. Air... Breath... These are our simplest words.
Air... Breath... Notice the Disconnect? We take the act of Breathing for granted and give it very little thought and no reverence at all... So, along comes the word Inspiration... A more sophisticated effort to describe something Miraculous; to Breathe in the Spirit; Pran... Ka... Ha... Ki... Qi... Qigong!"
Enough for today.
--Pahka Dave
"Thought of One Thought... Since you cannot use thinking to stop thoughts, a very simple technique is to focus on only one thought. Grandmaster Pang Ming has taught his students to think Blue Sky. We all can agree upon the Blue Sky! It is a thought so simple, a mental image so easily recalled that it promotes a state of stillness.
When you focus on the Blue Sky to the exclusion if all else, then passing thoughts are no more significant than passing clouds. Let the clouds pass. Focus on the empty Blue Sky. You will see... Thoughts will cease. And a beautiful clarity will exist behind your eyes. Think Blue Sky. It is so simple... So refreshing... Stress free... Hao la!"
--Pahka Dave
When we truly accept ourselves for who we are. Then we are free to be who we truly are.
When we make new mistakes, we are free to learn from those new experiences. And we are free to NOT feel ashamed of ourselves for making mistakes.
Who is perfect?
Mistakes mean we are taking chances. Still learning. The thing to remember is this:
"Mistakes are just what you did. They is NOT who you are."
--Pahka Dave
All the things
My Grandfather could do,
and they turned him into
"A Drunk."
No one looked
Any closer
After that.
Grandfather--"A Drunk."
That is NOT the Legacy
I want to leave behind.
So when My Granddaughter was Born
I quit.
I may be the first
Grandfather
In my clan
To greet a Grandchild
Without
Alcohol on his Breath.
My Legacy?
I hope I will be
Grandfather--
A Musician,
A Healer,
A Great Cook,
A Songwriter...
Grandfather--
Guitar Collector,
BodySurfer,
Drummer,
Dreamer,
With Cool Blue Tattoos.
Grandfather--
Patient,
Kind,
Funny,
Loving,
Forgiving...
These are worthier goals to me
Than stocking my wine cellar
And blotting out my pain
With Bourbon and Indica...
Soon,
Very soon,
I will leave my Legacy
Behind...
I am getting prepared.
How do YOU
Want to be remembered?
--Pahka Dave
Satori and Samadhi.
"Zen tradition recognizes 2 distinct Enlightenment Experiences: Satori and Samadhi. Satori is "The Lightening Flash", an ultra-brief glimpse of Transcendental Reality. Satori gives one a split-second taste of Enlightenment, perhaps even Eternity. Practitioners suddenly sense something beyond ordinary Mind, beyond ego, something True; a taste of Perfection... What Western Psychologists call "Peak Experiences." This flash of Non-Dual Reality informs the Student of Zen they are "On to Something." The student digs in; begins to practice with a vigor.
In the history of Zen there are many cases of students achieving Enlightenment at very young ages: 18, 19, 20 years old through Satori. But Satori cannot be maintained. In fact, Satori can sometimes become an obsticle... These brief Enlightenment Experiences can produce a Zen Ego. A Zen competitiveness can set in among young men. Students try to out Zen one another; Who can kneel the longest? Who can be the Serenest...? But over time something interesting happens. Cases tell of 'deepenings', experiences of second Enlightenments and even third Enlightenments occurring later in life; in their late 40s, 50s, and 60s.
These cases of Enlightenment are known as Koans. You can read some of the most famous Koans in the Blue Cliff Record. There you will see that Zen Masters sometimes used crazy methods to push their young students beyond the limitations of Mind.
Some Zen Masters employed what is called "Crazy Wisdom." Brutal methods to produce a powerful Shock! The Lightening Flash! Satori... Koans record cases of students achieving Satori when the Master suddenly cut off an index finger; or when the Master threw them from a second story window, and when the Master killed the student's cat... For the origin of Crazy Wisdom you need look no further than Bodhidharma--the 26th Zen Patriach--who brought Buddhist Meditation and Yoga from India to China.
Legend says that once, Bodhidharma became so frustrated with himself for falling asleep during Meditation that he cut his eyelids off and discarded them. The legend goes on to say that where his eyelids fell, the first tea plants grew... This story explains how Zen monks began fueling their Meditation sessions with tea to produce a strong caffeine buzz to avoid sleepiness. Bodhidarma is always pictured with glaring eyes and a no nonsense expression on his face.
But what causes these 'Deepenings?' What leads to Samadhi? A permanent state of Enlightenment Beyond Mind and Ego...? I believe it is Maturity. Maturity gained from following a life time of Zen Practice. And then, another shock... In Zen, they say: 'Enlightment is a Happy Accident. Zen Meditation makes one Accident Prone.' Live long enough and Life begins taking things away from you. Life pushes you deeper towards your Soul and beyond the Mind. And what is it that is Deeper than Mind? For me the answer is simple: The Heart... When the Heart Opens, the Mind is transcended, The Ego--with all it's Lies and Strategies and Manipulation--is at last revealed. Even a Zen Ego... Then there is a True Awakening. Not Satori. Not a glimpse. But Samadhi. A state of Maturity. The Koan says: 'Joshu achieved Enlightenment at age 18. And at age 47, there was a Deepening...'
When the Heart Truly Sees, the Eyes at last are Opened, and then like Bodhidharma, they can never to be closed again."
Enough for today.
Pahka Dave
Bodhidharma
Learning to be Still. This is a high achievement. Developing the ability to be Still while in Action and Inaction, Movement and Non-Movement, Emotion and Thought... This is a critical Skill.
Stillness creates clarity. Not being swept up and swept away in Thought and Emotion takes great practice.
To be honest, it is extremely difficult. As such, any effort to develop Stillness will lead to failure after failure after failure... This is the only way. Try and fail.
Sit and attempt to be Still. Then observe the movement of Mind and Emotion. Observe the energy in the body. Detach and observe. Difficult... But doable for short amounts of times.
Success is measured in seconds. And then minutes. Eventually success can be measure in hours...
Meditation can become the primal state of being with only temporary lapses into emotionality and runaway thinking. But you have to be willing to fail.
The Mind is a slippery fish. Just when you catch it it wriggles way. This is just the nature of Mind. Do not become frustrated. That is also the nature of Mind.
In Zen they say the Mind is like a Horse. Untrained it is dangerous. But trained it has many uses. But first you must learn how to control the horse and handle the reigns.
Of course - the horse resists these efforts at being controlled. That is the nature of the horse. A spirited horse is to be prized, but it must also learn to be led. That requires training. And Patience.
This is the role of Meditation... Training... Patience... Learning to lead the Mind.
This is the role of Qigong. Qigong is Meditation in Movement and in Stillness. Qigong is Stillness in Action and Inaction, Movement and Non-Movement, Emotion and Thought.
We don't become emotionless, we become emotion-full. We don't become thoughtless, we become thought-full. We don't become careless... Detaching actually allows us to care-more.
Hao la!
--Pahka Dave
Taoist speak of 3 Treasures: Jing, Qi, and Shen. Jing is your physical body, your trillions of cells, that which perishes. Some resources identify Jing as essence and then they refer to semen and sperm. Those thoughts are based on ancient Taoist Alchemy. Taoists were obsessed with finding Dan, the Elixir of Long Life... But as Master Chan explained to me, in ancient days, no one knew about eggs or ovum as female essence. They only knew sperm. No one could see the human egg... So if you are researching don't be confused... Jing really means your physical body, the Jelly of it...
Qi (pronounced Kee not Chee) is Energy. There are many many different kinds of Qi. Universe Qi. Apple Qi. Human Qi. Ren (Heart) Qi... Even Ghost Qi. Many many kinds of Qi... But for Qigong purposes we are concerned mostly with Yuan Qi (Universal Qi). And Human Qi (Ren Qi)... Taoists discovered we can replenish our Qi through the food we eat, the air we breathe, the water we drink, and through our movements and thoughts...
I sometimes like to think of Yuan Qi like stem cells, Yuan Qi can become any kind of Qi. Taoists developed many methods for cultivating Yuan Qi to make Dan, the Elixir inside the Body, inside our Jing; more specifically inside the 3 Dan Tiens or 3 Dan Tians...
Shen (pronounced Sun) is our Spirit. Together these are the 3 Treasures of Taoist Science. Taoist were concerned with achieving longevity in a time when average life expectancy was perhaps 35! They were concerned with essences, with Alchemy, trying to discover the pill, the medicine, that would be the secret to long life. Eventually they discovered the Golden Pill must be created inside the body. This Elixir, this Medicine of the "Cinnabar Field" they called Dan, and is created in the Dantian. The secret ingredients to creating Dan they called the 3 Treasures... 3 Essences... 3 Essentials...
Some have tried to explain the relationship between the 3 Treasures as being like a candle: Qi is the Wax. Jing is the wick. Shen is the flame... Others have likened the 3 Treasures to the three states of water: Liquid water is Qi. Ice is Jing. Steam is Shen. But these are very poor analogies...
As someone who has kept and raised bees, I discovered quite naturally that a bee hive is the best metaphor for the process of Qigong. When we do our form we are gathering Qi-pollen, Qi-nectar like bees. It takes effort. But this nectar is not Honey yet. The nectar must be brought back to the hive and placed into the cells of the honeycomb.
This Hive is our Jing. The Lower Dan Tian.... Even then it is not Honey yet. The bees of the hive have to cook the nectar with the heat of their bodies. After a period of time the Honey is at last ready. But still, the Honey is not the Shen. The invisible nourishment inside the Honey is the Shen. The life-giving energy produced by the Honey is Shen. And it is Golden like the Sun.
--Pahka Dave
"In the 'Golden Age of Shamanism' the tools for trance were the Drum and the Rattle, the Breath, the Voice and the Dance. This is how Shamans summoned the Spirits, how they communed with them, and brought back the medicine for the people...
As Indigenous Peoples became more settled, more specialized, they began to lose their connections to the Hunt and to the Spirit Worlds, and Shaman became fewer.
Many Shaman began relying more and more on ethnobotanicals--psychoactive mind-altering substances like Alcohol, Soma, Amanita Muscaria, Ayahuasca, Peyote, San Pedro, Psilocybin, Dartura, Sage, Tobacco, Iboga, Cannabinoids, and many other plant substances to cross-over, to achieve trance and access altered states of consciousness. Even then, thousands of years ago, Elders complained about the reliance on these inferior methods as a degradation of the Art, and they began longing for a return of the Purity of the Old Ways...
In some isolated places in this World, people still hold to the Old Ways; like China and Tibet, Siberia and Mongolia... Places where Taoist Qigong and Bon Lineages still exist that extend back into Neolithic times...
The Medicine is created within. It is endogenous. It does not come from without. The Exogenous Path is not only an inferior Path, it is potentially Harmful and very Dangerous. The true tools remain available to all of us... The Drum, The Rattle, The Breath, The Song, The Dance.
Spirit is always and forever there. It is up to each one of us to find the True Connection.
Hao La!
--Pahka Dave
"Legends say Bodhidharma meditated for 9 years in silent retreat in a cave at Shaolin Temple by staring each day at the wall. And when he was at last compelled to turn away from the wall he wrote two books which became the foundation of Kung Fu...'The Muscle Tendon Changing Classic' and 'The Bone Marrow-Brainwashing Classic.' I used to think that was a very inspirational story, but only a story; no one would do that. What kind of a nut job would waste 9 long years staring at the blank grey rock wall of a cave?
But then 9 years ago, on Qigong retreat, Master Chan brought back from a Grandmaster he met in Shanghai, a healing technique called the Hunyuan Chau...
The whole group of advanced students sat in a circle and meditated for over an hour on an energy ball along the central channel, behind the Solar Plexus, below the Heart, spinning and spinning the ball faster and faster until the ball felt very tangible and real; spinning and spinning and spinning like a Cosmic Tibetan Prayer Wheel very very fast. And then at just the right moment Master Chan reached inside the ball with his hands and split the ball, opening my central channel. It was a shattering and shuddering experience.
For a long while, maybe 20 minutes?, I was unable to stand. Then finally when I was able to stand again, it felt like I had to relearn to walk. I was very shaky. He held onto me until he was sure I had my balance again. He whispered to me: "Very interesting isn't it?" I had to agree...
When I returned home after the retreat I could tell something had shifted, but I didn't know what... Then an event occurred on my birthday. I had had a martini and several glasses of wine that night and was out listening to live jazz... I suddenly became conscious of myself being Unconscious! It was quite shocking! It was like I was watching myself from outside. I was drunk. And I did not like what I was seeing... I vowed to stop drinking! Over the course of the next few weeks I found out how difficult that was...
I called Master Chan in California and explained what happened to me and my sudden decision to quit drinking cold turkey; how I was freaking out and couldn't stop crying... He said: 'Sometimes the Qi wants us to heal the Past. When the Hunyuan Chau is opened, all the hurts of the Past will come up. It will be like it is happening all over again. But once it is out it will be out for good. Maybe it will help you to see a Therapist?' I asked him where I could read more about the Hunyuan Chau? He said: 'Nowhere. Some things are not written down.'
NOW: When I was a child, my Mother had told me all about 'The Can Of Worms'... And she said that one thing was absolutely certain - you NEVER want to open 'The Can Of Worms'! That is the last thing you would ever ever want to do!
And here I was, at age 46, breaking her Prime Directive.
Over the course of the next 9 years, more and more 'worms' came out...dark secrets...bad memories...vivid scenes of hurts and sorrows and angers and rage...harsh thoughts and beliefs about myself...I almost completely withdrew from society. Except for my healing work with others I withdrew. I stayed in, I avoided all venues where the focus was drinking alcohol. I stopped socializing almost completely. I lost 'friends' left and right. And I meditated, meditated, meditated day after day after day - down in Dave's Basement - on my pain and my sorrows, my frustrations and my fears, and all the negative beliefs about myself and their origins...
I did not plan to retreat from my Life for 9 years! It just took as long as it took. But, apparently, Master Chan was right: 'Sometimes the Qi wants us to heal the Past.'
And then one day it dawned on me: Bodhidharma's story is not just a legend! Maybe he actually did that!? It no longer seemed so far fetched to me... Healing takes as long as it takes... Maybe the Qi wanted him to heal his Past? Maybe he wasn't just a total nut job after all?
Or else maybe, just maybe: I am the same kind of nut job???
At least I didn't cut off my eyelids like Bodhidharma! (The legend says he cut his eyelids off in disgust with himself for falling asleep while meditating! Yikes!)
So I am not totally crazy!
Hao La!
--Pahka Dave
Back to Childhood Breathing means: diaphragmatic or 'belly' breathing. Belly breathing massages your organs, stimulates the relaxation response, and allows for the free flow of emotional energy.
Belly breathing holds nothing back. It is the antidote to adulthood and adult stress and tension. All children from newborns until about the age of 4 years old breathe from the abdomen.
Some statues and images of Buddha demonstrates this rounded belly. Buddha was not fat! His belly is depicted as rounded because it is full of breath!
The Chinese Buddha: Hoti IS fat! To the Chinese that is a sign of good fortune and happiness in a land that once knew the tragedy of famine after famine... Hoti is not an example of Good Health if you are a cardiologist. But he is Very Very Happy! Happy as a child!
Shakyamuni Buddha - Prince Goatama Siddhartha - was a yogic ascetic. His rounded belly is not fat, it is full of in-breath, full of life, and full of authentic emotions.
The Belly should be rounded on inhale and flat on exhale. Try it. You will develop awesome abs this way. Strong and powerful. And you will never have to do a crunch or sit-up ever again!
Hao la!
--Pahka Dave
Overcoming Instinct...
The natural instinct is to move away from threat and discomfort. To withdraw from pain and displeasure.
But this is not what we do in Tai Chi. In Tai Chi we step in closer. We relax. We move in - not away. That way we can better gain control of a potentially dangerous situation.
It goes against instinct. We have to train ourselves to do this. To go against instinct...
After enough practice and training though - it becomes second nature. With enough practice we instinctively step into trouble. Instincts can be changed. We can learn to act consciously instead of instinctively.
It is similar to learning how to juggle with clubs. There is a nervous system reflex-reaction to move away when an object comes flying at your face. The reflex is to pull back and protect your eyes. But you cannot juggle successfully that way.
You have to stand your ground, control your throws, train yourself not to flinch.
This same thing can happen with our uncomfortable emotions... The instinct is to deny them and move away, suppress them and ignore them. But this does not help us master our emotions. This actually makes us victims of our negative emotional states.
This instinct to withdraw and deny emotions does not allow us the opportunity to learn how to control them.
Suppression is not the same as controlling.
Suppression arises from feeling endangered and threatened... The instinct to move away. But who is it who feels threatened by emotions? Ego.
The Ego can be trained to accept a tough day. Not move away or avoid. Not drink or drug. But feel it and move through.
Emotions will flow if we do not tamper with them. It is the nature of emotion to flow. Interfering with this flow creates too much discomfort. It is not worth it in the long run. Suppression causes us to hold emotions in the subconscious. Where they boil...
Try this... The next time you feel "bad" - look at a clock or your watch and - note the time. Then... Feel bad!
See how long the bad feeling lasts when you do not try to suppress it or avoid it... Don't engage with the backstory. Don't throw fuel on the fire. Just observe the feeling.
Where do you feel it in the body? What are the feeling tones or qualities? Describe and note these aspects of the feeling but do not Identify yourself by your feelings.
They are just feelings... They come and go. Feelings are NOT who you are.
Even Meditating can be an act of avoidance. Trying to pacify emotions... Tranquilize emotions... Avoid emotions... Avoid the Truth...
When you feel bad, feel bad. When you feel good, feel good. Don't cling exclusively to either feeling state and try to the exclude the other...
Mastery of emotions is possible but it requires balance and poise..
Buddha said: "Stay in the Middle - neither for or against." And that is why Buddhism is called "The Middle Way..."
Observe without judging.
Listen and gain the intelligence and wisdom of your emotions. Then you can step in and take advantage of a threatening or dangerous situation; instead of flinching, moving away and being victimized by your own energy... You can do it. It just takes pracice.
Hao la!
--Pahka Dave
Sometimes when a new student asks me what Qigong means, I like to say: 'Qigong means Fix It Your Own Damn Self!' Then after we share a laugh I get down to the basics...
Qigong is really all about Posture. Most of the pain we suffer is due to incorrect posture. When the body carries a maladaptive posture through all our daily activities it must overcompensate for being out of balance. Posture distortions due to injury, depression, or just bad habits are so common. We suffer back pain, neck pain, hip pain, knee pain, shoulder pain, etc. due to chronic posture distortion.
The most common distortion is a Head Forward posture... In proper anatomical posture, the ears should be directly over the shoulders and the shoulders should be directly over the hips... In Qigong training we say: 'Raise Baihui' (The Crown Chakra) and 'Tuck in Chin' and 'Imagine Your Head Is Hanging By A String From Above.' These are very common Training Cues...
So many beginning students misunderstand the importance of standing in correct posture. They think Qigong is all about movement so they get impatient with learning to stand... Postures called: 'Standing Like A Post' or 'Standing Like A Tree' or 'Standing Like A Mountain' or 'Standing In Wuji' or 'Beginning Pose' or 'Opening Pose' ...all try to train the student to stand in proper anatomical posture.
The new students say: 'When are we going to move?' and I say: 'Once you learn how to stand.' With Head erect... Shoulders and Hips balanced... Feet pressed down... Knees unlocked... Hands at your sides... Whole body relaxed... Raise Baihui and Tuck in Chin... Imagine your Head is suspended by a string from above... Hao La!
They are so unused to standing in correct posture. Their muscles and tendons begin to scream. Their Meridians try to flow but no-can-do... Blocked! They start sweating and burning and looking very surprised and confused...
Standing in correct posture is very strenuous for beginners. They say 'My feet are burning' and 'My legs are cramping' and 'My back' or 'My neck' or 'My shoulders are spasming.' And I say 'Yep!' ...'Keep Standing' ...'You are opening your body's central channel and realigning yourself to correct anatomical posture.' ...'Keep standing. It will get better.' ...'When you relax your spine your Heart will open again.'
And I always add my favorite:'Hey! Remember? I said Qigong means: Fix it your own damn self.' Then we laugh... You always have to laugh! It's funny but no joke!
Hao la! Hao la!
--Pahka Dave
Exercises in Tranquility
It begins with You
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Pahka was also a musician. A compilation of some of his music is available here:
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